Awareness is spreading

Awareness is permeating everyday life. Sometimes i feel it was a not a good day in terms of practice, but in the longer run, awareness is getting integrated with day to day activities. So it will always be tougher -- easier to be aware sitting in a chair, than while doing mundane activities, or in a discussion with someone, especially one where this is some egioc conflict going on. To bring myself back to awareness and peace after disturbing incidents.

Right now, the way things are, there is no chance of going to a peaceful, quiet place even for a few days, or visiting Arunachala. I don't see it happening for a long time now. I have to make peace right here, in the city, in this disturbed environment, in this very "dysfunctional" environment. It is a big test. I think this will only strengthen my ability to remain aware.

I ask so much of you, Father. Rarely do i even think of thanking you for your grace. Beloved, free me of this ego, of this "me", of delusion. Free me from what is false. Let me find you quickly, do not make me wait more. However, i accept your will happily for it is so evident that you are pulling me to You.

O Self, pull me in, O world, push me in from the outside.

Sometimes, I just enjoy lying in bed and focusing on my breathing. Or just dropping everything, and being nothing at all. There is a wonderful freedom in it. As though, one is nothing.

It is so strange, how could i possibly be trapped in this tiny little body and experiencing.