2006-07-14 1:27 PM
My observance of Guru Purnima and my asking you for unceasing devotion of Your Holy Feet, Lord, seems to have paid off.
I feel you in my heart all the time. Last night in my dreams I was thinking and seeking You. I remember not much, and have not tried to remember but i remember thinking of Arunachala Siva. And calling out to You. It was some office situation i was in.
So blessed to be consumed by You even in dreams.
Today i came upon the Tirumantiram, and what beautiful lines about the Guru in Tantra Six.
1573: The Holy Guru is God Himself
Let all your thoughts be thoughts of Siva,
And the Lord by His Grace shall reveal all;
If your thoughts be Siva-saturated
In you shall He then close abide. Into my bosom, on my eyes, over my head
He gently planted His loving Feet
Nandi, my Lord Supreme;
He laid me the Path,
He showed me the Truth,
He settled the course of my Destiny
Truly, truly, all that I can not describe.
He is beyond worlds all
Yet, here below, He bestows His grace abundant
On the good and the devout,
And in love works for salvation of all;
Thus is the Holy Guru
Whose praise is beyond speech
Like unto Siva, the Being Pure.
The Guru comes, purifies and grants Godhood,
They see this not,
The witless ones of vision faulty;
But the holy ones take to him
In endearment as unto kith and kin,
And worship him as Lord Himself.
Guru is none but Siva—thus spoke Nandi;
Guru is Siva Himself—this they realize not;
Guru will to you Siva be,
And your Guide too;
Guru in truth is Lord,
That surpasses speech and thought, all.
What better words to describe You and Your Glory.
Oh Beloved, let me in these loving moments ask you to pervade each thought, each moment, waking and sleeping and even between. Let there be no deception or loophole as in the boon granted to Hiranyakshyap!
Lord, I ask you for the greatest gift and boon of continuous, unceasing, bhakti of You. Would You not grant this to me? Let this love and devotion and constant rememberance grow by the moment.
Even You asked the same of Beloved Arunachala, today i ask the same of You.
If there are karmas that make me undeserving of this, then please annul all such karmas.
Let all beings be in joyous bhakti.
One another note I must also add, and this is not contradictory, that there is nothing left to think, no place for the mind to go to, no escape left. The mind must now permanently rest, it must die. The time has come for the mind to leave.
The other day, in a dream, some big dog was approaching me, i was afraid, it puts its mouth around my wrist as if to bite. I closed my eyes and was chanting 'om namah sivaya'. It went off without harming me, in fact it came into my house.
There is nowhere for the mind to run, but it is not as though it is silent, it is running in circles standing in one place. The mind must now stop.
Holy Guru, although you are the best judge, to me it seems that the time has come for this mind to rest permanently, so that i may see Thee in my Heart. I long to see You as the Self. I have no knowledge of the Self. Destroy all egoity, Beloved.
2006-07-14 9:45 PM
only one antidote to the suffering
Truly, there is only one antidote to the suffering in the world, and that is the memory of and devotion to one's satguru. Only the love of His Holy Feet are any protection from the pains of this world.
Beloved Lord, there is so much suffering in this world, there are billions who do not know the unceasing joy of loving You. Please, please Lord, i beg you from the depths of my heart and being to give this gift of bhakti to all living beings.
Even this moment as i wish, you can end all suffering in this world by awakening in each and every heart as bhakti, as you once awoke in mine. Beloved, they all call you the Ocean of Mercy, and in my experience that title is most justified. Please, O Ocean of Mercy, bless all beings with Your bhakti.
God, today i saw a dying kite on the roadside. Its eyes still had light in it, they were blinking. I prayed to You to take care of it, to give it a good rebirth, to bless it, to either save it or give it a painless death. Lord, i hope You took care of it. I saw the look in its eyes. The look of one who knows the end has come. And yet, there was something loving in those eyes, they blinked like the eyes of an innocent child.
Lord, please tell me that you were there to recieve it, with love.
Lord Siva, Guru Ramana, please always remember that I love all animals like my own children. Any pain to them, is pain to me.
The simplest and easiest path to true happiness and deep peace is the constant rememberance and love for one's guru. (I assume that at this point all desires have died off, including any spiritual desires). Constant rememberance and a dying of all desires comes with the Guru's grace.
