Venkat - my only refuge
2006-07-09 12:11 PM
The love of a devotee for his guru is quite apart from the love we feel for other people. This is not one ego choosing to love another.
It is the Brahman or God in the form of a realized master pulling one ego towards Itself. There is no choice, no speeding it up, or walking out. There is no escape. It is the most beautiful experience, although it can be very painful at times (when the ego imagines it is the actor).
At times, the path to this master may seem long and indirect. To reach one city, we may have to take an Interstate route or highway, but to reach that highway from our house we may have to first go on some local lane for a few miles and then get off at the right exit. If we were to continue on the local lane (missing the exit) we could end up at a dead-end or some unfriendly part of town. Thus, we start calling the local lane a "false guru", not understanding that this was the only way to reach the highway.
A devotee (and this writer) may be as unenlightened as any other man on the street, with the same thoughts and feelings and weaknesses, but the joy of bhakti and surrender that he experiences is without any comparison in the material world . The pains of material and family life, affect him far less, if at all. Like a child in its mother's arms, feeling completely safe, having put all worries to its mother, the devotee is completely free of worry, mind at peace knowing that the satguru, who is God, will handle all.
The Guru need not be living physically as some insist. Mirabai's Krishna was no longer physically living. No one can doubt the joy of her love for Krishna. Deep is the inspiration her poems give to bhaktas today. And yet Krishna was always with Mirabai, within her and without.
Although, a bhakta does not realize this (esp during the painful initial craving period of bhakti), the satguru is always with, within and without the devotee. The period of initial, partial surrender may be painful if the bhakti or surrender is for a purpose (such as enlightenment, liberation or some other end). When desires cease or diminish, and the bhakti becomes causeless, and is no longer the path, but the end, then the dark period is over.
The guru is all over. Bhakti is over, there is only joy. There is nothing to surrender, because nothing was "mine" really. And what the devotee thought was his was the cause of his pain and separation. Even the seeking was the cause of separation.
The bhakta finds that only the satguru is "his".
For the bhakta of a departed soul, the argument that a departed soul cannot liberate is of no consequence since his bhakti is not for a purpose.
The dark dweller in Venkat(1)
is my only refuge
my constant companion
all that i love
Like my breath, His love keeps me alive
moment by moment.
Where do i end, where does He start?
Does He live in my heart, or I in His?
Through life and death, my constant companion.
We are locked in now, there is nothing between your eyes and mine
Your den, your heart is heaven, and my home and prison now
(1) – Venkat refers to Ramana Maharshi
O Guru, glory be to Thee, who saves lost souls and brings them into your heart. Glory be to Thee, O Brahman, O Arunachala Siva, O Krishna, O Satguru, O Buddha!
Running frightened for my life
i dared look up once,
And saw the smiling face of
My Lord
No predator, no killer
but the joyous face of love eternal
The One who had held my hand since ages
My gaurdian, my father, my protector
As i looked, rooted, unable to move,
what a splendid sight
The sparkling eyes of my Lord,
His smile
and the sweetest white beard,
I felt the love, His love, the greatest love
I melted, i shivered and fell
I lost myself in His love
