2007-07-18 15:05
Captive Lord
O Lord of mine
I thought you were my captive
and that no one else knew of You
Tied and bound
and stuffed into my little heart
so i could love You all day
kiss You, take Your name
and sing to You
and look at Your face
and Your eyes
all by myself!
Just You and me!
And now i find that You were a captive
of many, many hearts, at the same time.
So many have tied and bound You
and imprisoned You
feeding You with more love
and devotion than i did.
And yet You stayed on
in my heart
often hungry and neglected
very often ignored and unloved
without a complaint.
Only a real father could have
taken all that
for so long
and still stayed on happily.
Never let me forget You
O Beloved
Never may i neglect You.
O Beloved,
what a strange game!
Tell me, in truth
were You a captive in my heart
or i a captive in Yours?
What madness is this love.
Lead me to the real You, O Father
Do you not wish that Yourselves?
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Freedom of the heart
2007-07-18 14:22
i walk through a crowded market-place. Poor and rich brush past me. People of all sorts, all cultures. Diversity to the eyes.
But there is just one feeling as my eyes caress the crowd.
They are all one, they are all You, my Lord. They are my very self. and no other.
Never again will anyone be "an other".
It is all You milling around me. Or myself. There is no fear. There is warmth and trust and peace and a restfulness as i walk.
There is a growing peace and the beginning of a deep sigh of relief deep inside as barriers start to weaken and crumble, as pride and prejudice and bias and separation start to reveal themselves as a mirage.
The heart which has always been strait-jacketed, finds that it was made to love without distinction. That was its nature all along. That the concept of "other" was a horrible lie, a deceit, a trap; looking on "other" bodies as "others" was a betrayal of oneself.
We have known freedom, but that was only a freedom of the limbs, of the tongue or pen. Did such freedom bring us happiness?
This now is freedom of the heart, a deeper and truer freedom, a freedom that brings with it joy and relief and lightheartedness and happiness. When the heart is free to love with abandon, with no barriers and demarcations.
When there is no mind to curb the heart.
--
For all the "others", i wonder "where were you all this time?" and then i realize the question should be, "Where was _i_ all this time?"
Glory to You my Lord, my Master, my Father, my very own Ramana, captive of my heart, who loves me so much that he has dissolved ommst all my pain (praps like Siva who drank the poison).
i walk through a crowded market-place. Poor and rich brush past me. People of all sorts, all cultures. Diversity to the eyes.
But there is just one feeling as my eyes caress the crowd.
They are all one, they are all You, my Lord. They are my very self. and no other.
Never again will anyone be "an other".
It is all You milling around me. Or myself. There is no fear. There is warmth and trust and peace and a restfulness as i walk.
There is a growing peace and the beginning of a deep sigh of relief deep inside as barriers start to weaken and crumble, as pride and prejudice and bias and separation start to reveal themselves as a mirage.
The heart which has always been strait-jacketed, finds that it was made to love without distinction. That was its nature all along. That the concept of "other" was a horrible lie, a deceit, a trap; looking on "other" bodies as "others" was a betrayal of oneself.
We have known freedom, but that was only a freedom of the limbs, of the tongue or pen. Did such freedom bring us happiness?
This now is freedom of the heart, a deeper and truer freedom, a freedom that brings with it joy and relief and lightheartedness and happiness. When the heart is free to love with abandon, with no barriers and demarcations.
When there is no mind to curb the heart.
--
For all the "others", i wonder "where were you all this time?" and then i realize the question should be, "Where was _i_ all this time?"
Glory to You my Lord, my Master, my Father, my very own Ramana, captive of my heart, who loves me so much that he has dissolved ommst all my pain (praps like Siva who drank the poison).
Saturday, July 07, 2007
The Form of God
2007-07-06 14:23
It is pointless trying to describe your eyes, your smile, your look, your feet etc. This is the form, in whole and in every part that we were born to love and worship. This form was created to love Your Form.
You made us to love you, to enjoy our love for you, to enjoy our love for Arunachala.
You gave birth to us, to love us and live our love for you.
To see the look in our eyes, when we look into yours.
To see the look on our faces when we look at your feet.
To hear us taking your name. To hear us saying "Arunachala Siva", and then getting misty.
We are helpless really, there was no choice, it was game set match to you from the first time we looked into Your eyes.
It is pointless trying to describe your eyes, your smile, your look, your feet etc. This is the form, in whole and in every part that we were born to love and worship. This form was created to love Your Form.
You made us to love you, to enjoy our love for you, to enjoy our love for Arunachala.
You gave birth to us, to love us and live our love for you.
To see the look in our eyes, when we look into yours.
To see the look on our faces when we look at your feet.
To hear us taking your name. To hear us saying "Arunachala Siva", and then getting misty.
We are helpless really, there was no choice, it was game set match to you from the first time we looked into Your eyes.
Just imagine, Lord, Father, Beloved, till the end of time, as long this universe exists, there will be many taking Thy name with love and surrender, there will be many remembering you with love, and wishing they could come back to kiss your feet, there will be many worshipping you and reading about your life, and those who served You.
There will always always be living beings singing thy glory, blowing kisses to You from the far reaches of this universe. Wiping a tear that resulted from humming "Arunachala Siva" once or twice.
Even when this universe reaches its end, there will be someone who closes his eyes, sees your face in his mind and smiles knowing that He will fall into your arms. That your arms will always be there to receive those who "die". The arms of the Father-Mother of all.
Even when this universe reaches its end, there will be someone who closes his eyes, sees your face in his mind and smiles knowing that He will fall into your arms. That your arms will always be there to receive those who "die". The arms of the Father-Mother of all.
The arms of the One whom Nayana named as Ramana.
Ramana, the one who picks up all lost souls and smothers them with love. My Father.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Dying in the arms of our Beloved
Even if you were to throw away my dead body in these thorny bushes I do not mind but I must end this life in your arms.
Bhagavan's Mother to Bhagavan
Lord, no matter what happens, we must end up in Your arms, at Your Feet, with You. This prayer was not just Mother Alagammal's prayer to You, it was the prayer of all humankind, all that live, spoken through Her.
The only peace is in Your arms, the only reality is in your arms, the only liberation is in your arms, the only end to suffering is in your arms.
Where Mother went, we beg to follow.
When our "end" is near, when these frail, tired bodies, these hungry souls are about to drop, please be there, to rest our heads on your knees, place your hands on our hearts and heads, and take us to that land where You delivered Mother Alagammal.
May the touch of your hands be the last touch we know in this mortal life. May your eyes be the last thing we look into before we leave this body.
The eyes we love and trust totally. The eyes we have total faith in, the eyes that our lives depend on.
The eyes that have been relentlessly pulling us out of maya, ever since we saw them for the first time.
----
Oh Lord, you are the only love I have known which did not hurt, in which there was no fear. This bagful of pretense and deceit called the false-self has reached its end, it is tired. It has reached the shores of the Ocean of Compassion. I dive into You but find myself washed ashore again and again.
2007-07-05 12:34
2007-07-05 12:34
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
I feel Love
2007-07-04 15:02
Dearest sweetest Lord,
I finally feel love arising in this stony heart. And it isn't love for just animalses. It is for humanses too!
Can it be true? Can this heart really feel love?
Dearest sweetest Lord,
I finally feel love arising in this stony heart. And it isn't love for just animalses. It is for humanses too!
Can it be true? Can this heart really feel love?
I feel love for all people, regardless of faith, color or anything. Finally it isn't just animalses who feel like my own children, but everyone who lives.
Let this love grow and encompass all, beloved Father. Let all discrimination end, let all bias, all prejudice, intolerance etc slide off, and let true unconditional love flourish here. For only then will i be capable of serving You and honoring Your purpose.
A heart and mind burdened with selfishness and bias is of no use to You, Beautiful Eyed Lord. It is YOU in all, is it not? None other than YOU, only YOU.
In all, seem they good or bad, peaceful or not, it is my Beloved Loving Father, is it not?
My very own, the King of my heart and soul. My Father and Child both, my Father-Child.
Today when I look into Your eyes, it is precisely that that they say. That it is You in all, everywhere. No exceptions. All these photographs around me, look at me unflinchingly with that one message: "It is I in all beings". There is a look of expectation in your eyes that I will not fail or betray you in any form.
When anyone suffers, it is You who suffer, is it not? "Of course", your eyes say.
Monday, July 02, 2007
To serve You, unfailingly
20070702 01:08:11
I will do whatever you ask, whatever you say.
Do what you will with this body.
I have no will left any longer.
I ask only that You hold my hand. I won't pray for death any longer, i won't run away, i will stay and do what you wish, never denying you.
Hold my hand and give me courage, Lord. Give me strength.
As long as there is life in this body, it will serve You, it will never fail You. Hold my hand, Beloved Father, and guide me, let me know Thy will.
When i once said that the purpose of this life is to love You and take Your name only, and seek You, i forgot that there was an even higher purpose: to serve You, unfailingly. To let one's own will slide away, and live as per one's Father's will alone.
Yet i was so blinded by your love, and so blind to all else, that i dared ask for myself. I dared ask for liberation. Even above Your will, Your work and Your purpose.
Beloved, I will never ask again, never wish again. Just let Your Will be known, guide me, hold my hand so I do not err, so i do not fail Thee.
When You once claimed me, saying "I am your Father, I will take care of you", that was the greatest joy a human could know, it was and is the greatest joy of all my lives. There is nothing beyond that that any soul can ask for, or dream of. To have the Lord look into one's eyes, and claim one as His own.
There is nothing more i can ask, Beloved Father, let me be Your slave, your servant, let me serve you in any and all ways you want. Never let me fail You.
This child of Yours is weak, Lord, defeated, beaten and exhausted. But he wishes to serve You till the end.
Lord, you have given me love, love that few seem to know. Now give me your orders, command me, push me, let this child, your slave work for You. I have slept too long Beloved, I have lazed and wasted away.
Master, this slave is ripe for instructions.
Do what you will with this body.
I have no will left any longer.
I ask only that You hold my hand. I won't pray for death any longer, i won't run away, i will stay and do what you wish, never denying you.
Hold my hand and give me courage, Lord. Give me strength.
As long as there is life in this body, it will serve You, it will never fail You. Hold my hand, Beloved Father, and guide me, let me know Thy will.
When i once said that the purpose of this life is to love You and take Your name only, and seek You, i forgot that there was an even higher purpose: to serve You, unfailingly. To let one's own will slide away, and live as per one's Father's will alone.
Yet i was so blinded by your love, and so blind to all else, that i dared ask for myself. I dared ask for liberation. Even above Your will, Your work and Your purpose.
Beloved, I will never ask again, never wish again. Just let Your Will be known, guide me, hold my hand so I do not err, so i do not fail Thee.
When You once claimed me, saying "I am your Father, I will take care of you", that was the greatest joy a human could know, it was and is the greatest joy of all my lives. There is nothing beyond that that any soul can ask for, or dream of. To have the Lord look into one's eyes, and claim one as His own.
There is nothing more i can ask, Beloved Father, let me be Your slave, your servant, let me serve you in any and all ways you want. Never let me fail You.
This child of Yours is weak, Lord, defeated, beaten and exhausted. But he wishes to serve You till the end.
Lord, you have given me love, love that few seem to know. Now give me your orders, command me, push me, let this child, your slave work for You. I have slept too long Beloved, I have lazed and wasted away.
Master, this slave is ripe for instructions.
Let there be love
Let this heart be filled with love for all, unreservedly.
This wretched heart aches to love all beings, to see You and know You in all, and love and serve all, as You would have done.
Lord, this heart is wracked by the suffering it has seen. But i try to understand that those who suffer, as well as those who cause suffering, are all dear You, in some way. No matter how much it has shaken me, and made me convulse and cry to out, no matter how much this frail heart has ached to see pain in others, let me see and know You in all.
Let me not judge you in anyone, for in judging others, i reject you, hate you and feel angry.
Lord, i know that in everyone who suffers, it is really You who suffers. I know this, Beloved and it deeply grieves me. I wish You not to suffer. Please stop suffering in all these forms, Beloved Father.
I ask You this, for You are my Father, and You have held me to Your chest and said so. You have given me the gift of bhakti for you. Now I beg You, don't cause yourself suffering in these forms all over the world.
Your name "Ramana" means joy, be joyous in all forms. Let there be peace, and an end to violence in all forms, and an end to suffering. So your child prays to You.
(July 1st 6:30 pm - July 2 1:30pm)
