All the little ones in the park going...

The four black pups in the park are all dead now. I suppose the first got distemper and then the others got it from him and died.

The two adorable ones I used to feed, who followed me around, one white and one brown ... I was told the brown one died. He was hardly eating when i saw him last. Today, even the white one did not take any biscuits from me. Someone in the tea stall told me even this one will go.

That leaves only the large 2, who are probably 4 months old, who jump on me a lot. But the dear little ones, all gone. So today I picked up the little white one thinking this may be the last time I am doing so. Spoke with him a bit and then let him down.

It's sad considering how much those poor people looked after all these pups and their mothers. All their effort and kindness in vain. But what really matters and what counts is the kindness in them, the compassion with which they served those needy animals. The seed of compassion is what matters.

God has surpassed himself

It rained heavily again today. The roads were flooded. After the water had abated, i came out to feed you both.
And after feeding you, I touched you and spoke to you both with love telling you that you were the most beloved of all creation. Yes, the ecstasy i feel when i touch you. It surpasses everything i have ever known. To me, God, these two are your finest creation. You have surpassed yourself (is that how they say it).

You have given me the greatest of your creation. They love me and I them. You could not have done better, I could not ask for more, Lord. I just ask that they remain protected. I know you are in them. I know I will outlive them, there will be many many years without them, when i will look back and remember them. Or maybe i will even forget them, knowing how my mind is now. Just like I have forgotten Sheru and Chhota. I can only ask that they do not suffer. And that they come to you after this life. And that we are united after this life. Thank you so much, God, for giving me the highest and the best. I hope I will be able to serve you well in this life, and not use this life for living selfishly or just lazing around.

Mother and Son update

Thankfully, the heat is over since a couple of days. Mother is walking around now, the leg is better. Same with Raja. Now I am just wondering whether I should get her spayed now, or wait for her to deliver in December and for the pups to grow up, if they survive, that is.

Knowing me, I'll take no decision and there will be pups. How I would love to hold them and feed them, as if they are my own little children. And of course they are. Your children are mine, beloved Mother.

I wish you would guide me, Lord. I am totally lost, although I love the love I feel. I want no more from you. But i need to serve you well. Currently I have no ability to make any decisions, no idea what to do. Let not this life be wasted, Father. Let me serve you well. Let me serve your children well.

Very tough days for us three

(iTunes: hachiko - the dog).

The last couple weeks have been very trying. First of all Mother went into heat. She's been bitten badly by one dog and is carrying one hind leg. The other hind leg is the one that was hit in January, and she's not put any weight on it since then. She's limpiing around and being chased by dogs. I've been chasing them away but how much can I. Often she wants to go to them. But then she has to fend them off since she can barely stand herself. All of them are so aggressive whereas she is so docile.

And then there is her 8 month son, Raja, even more docile and friendly. Unable to fight. He's caught in the midst of all this getting bitten all over. Now he's unable to put one front foot down either due to a dog bite (or being hit on the leg). One hind leg is already fractured and fused incorrectly so he can't put his weight on it.

I absolutely have to get her spayed as soon as possible. She spends most of her time lying under some car so that she is not disturbed. Raja has begun travelling around the colony to meet other dogs. All the others are very territorial and vicious and bite him. Yet, he keeps on trying to befriend them.  There was heavy rain for some days on top of all this. I just didn't have the courage to go the foresty park in all this. I went the other day. The two little pups (brown and white) are still alive although the dear brown one hardly eats and is smaller than the other, who is quite brave and aggressive.
The other two larger pups were ectstatic to see me and jumped all over me, wiping muddy paws all over my pants and shirt (both white).
The black female who had given birth to four pups... one black one was fine but the dark grey one was whining in pain with each breath. No one knew what had happened. I could have saved it's life. I had to just keep walking by. The mother was looking anxiously. The next morning that pup was lying dead there, the mother licking its tail wondering what had happened. (One other black one had been taken by a lady some days back). Don't know about the third. My biggest fear about going there is that the little pups follow me back. Then the other two larger pups follow me towards the 2 little ones, and their mother charges at them and bites them. One of the larger ones was nipping the white one too, I tried to pick up the white one, but he was terrified.

On top of all that is flat-neighbour in-fighting. They leave the gates open and then complain that the dogs come in because of me. They refuse to close the gates. There is no way I could live without Mother and Raja. What else is there? The only love and humanity i see in this world is in animals , particularly these 2. Humans are too obsessed with wealth and show and fame. There is no place for love where there is greed. And where there is no love, and where the pain of others is not felt as one's own, one will never see God. One cannot see You, O Mother with eyes tainted with desires.

And yet, Lord, I cannot thank you enough for all you have given me, which I assure you is not only the greatest gift you could give anyone, but you may have never given any others. Is it only I who sees you in all, and who sees Mother Earth or the Mother of all everywhere. Is it only I who see Her love everywhere.

This has all been very painful and yet amazingly beautiful. I would never trade it for something else. All the pain was required to melt me, or rather what was not me. What is sad is that the pain and suffering was not mine, it was another's. Mother and Raja suffered so much to bring me to see You in all things. And to see myself continuing in them.

Another litter on the way ???

Day before it was, after feeding Mother and Son, I went over to the park to feed the two little pups.
That shiny thin black dog was there prowling around. In the few minutes that I was away, the deed was done.
So I think by December we should have a new litter. My God, the worry, with the cars and everything, and then them following me around...

Did I mention that the black and white dog that was to give a litter, she gave it in a drain and they are all lost.