Pup's mother back home

Finally got their mom back. She still has that e-collar on, for a couple days more. She's running around with it, trying to get it off.
Lord, may they be happy and thrive. I just hope I did the right thing in neutering them.

Today, i got (by mail order) Ultimate medicine and Prior to Consciousness (SNM), and have read a bit of UM. Father, I have no business doing anything other than staying present, in the 'I-am'. Help me to practice hard, so I may be liberated soon, and i may be able to serve you completely as soon as possible. I want this not for myself, i want no joy and no bliss, just to serve others, and to stop causing suffering to others.

Pups mother still in hospital

I had brought he back home, but she licked open her wound, so they decided to keep her another few days, and those days are stretching. They keep adding 2 days, yesterday said another couple of days. The other day I took the pups and had their stitches removed. They removed the mother's stitches too. They wish to keep here there to be on the safe side.

I take some yoghurt for the little ones in the morning, and milk at night. So so so very dear are the two little ones.

I am spending more time with eyes closed being in the I-am or just looking for the 'I'. But nowadays I find a stream of thoughts, mostly spiritual thoughts just being repeated. Maybe it is better to stay in the Now and when thoughts comes to enquire. I am once again getting into this thing of trying to see who is seeing all this, and i think this becomes a mental exercise. Trying to see who is behind all this. It always lands me up getting into an active mind state after a few days.

Lord, Father please help me in enquiry, help me to be liberated so I may serve all creatures without the mind deciding and controlling. May my life be run and decided totally by You.

Some words from Ed (Robert Adam's disciple)

In the end, after many of your remaining hindrances drop off, you will just rest, doing nothing special, in yourself, no longer making effort to explore or grow spiritually. Your journey and struggle will be over.

At this point, you will either become like something dead with no response to the world, which is the fate of some, or there will awaken in you the strongest conceivable sense that you are responsible for the world, for it does emanate from your mind. In a sense, though illusory, it belongs to you. You become Buddha, Christ, saving, helping.

You will make a decision to help all sentient beings in any way you can, from offering the shoes off your feet to some homeless person, to risking your life to save an animal. This to me is the real liberation—an immersion into a universal Mother Love.

(Ed Muzika - Autobiography of a Jnani, p30)

Pups mother back in hospital

Yesterday, I took her there for them to check her. She had licked open her wound and it was risky to have her out. So they've kept her in, till it heals. Today I visited. They said it was better. They've put an "e-collar" or something to prevent her from licking the wound. Today, he said it should take 3-4 days.

Pup's mother is back home

Brought her back home. The pups saw her from a distance and came running and barking. Then they recognized her. They played around a bit, she smelling them. The doc reminded me that they'd had to put the stitches again and I should be careful about them. I think he felt some pressure or urgency on my part, and thought I was suspicious of them and so released her today. They've bandanged and taped that area, but looks like she will easily get it off.

Hope she does not mess with it. Hope it heals quickly, Father. Father, please heal her quickly and keep her healthy and happy.

I hope I did the right thing in getting them spayed.

Pups mother still in hospital

This is getting a bit crazy. I was to fetch the mother yesterday, but now they say she has licked her stitches and opened some, so they had to re-stitch her. Now they want to keep her for two more days. She was spayed on the 5th, so it will be ten days tomorrow. Who / what is it that experiences all this? Stay with this.

Pup's Mother still in hospital

I went today to get their Mother, but they said at least 2 more days. She's better but they don't want to release her yet.
Last night the pups had a good feed, but today morning Gabbar ate nothing. It did rain heavily last night for a short bit. She ate some leaves then. In the evening also I saw her eating some leaves. Raja's not been eating too well either when i take milk and bread at night. He could be full, or missing his mother, or not well.

Pups mother not doing too well

Yesterday, I took Gabbar for cleaning up and to bring back the mother. She was on the table with an IV drip. Seems she could have some gastrointestinal issue, high WBC count, was vomiting and had diarrhea. Will check up today again.

She saw me or heard my voice and stirred and perhaps tried to get up. I came away with Gabbar without meeting her. Hang in there, dear one. Don't think i have forgotten you, I know times have been tough with the pups and my focusing on them, and often holding you back lest you snatch their food, or when you bite them. Both you and Raja have been neglected since the pups were born.

This also reveals the fickleness of love that the mind/false self creates. How love can jump from one object to another as the mind pleases. The love of the mind, no matter how much one may exalt it, is still a selfish self-serving one. It serves only the false self, and ultimately hurts the loved.

No doubt the two pups will grow up and not be like I imagine them to be, and I envision them. They will be entitles in their own right. And suddenly my mind will again, in an instant, change loyalties. Suddenly I will distance myself from one or both, and align myself with someone else. The mind seems to always be running away from pain, and that pain is created by itself and is itself. The pain is the mind. The mind seems to be always running away from itself, and it does so by playing various games which can never work since they are mind created.

The best thing is to come back into the Now, to remain as the background.

All conflict is created by the mind, so it can fall into the trap of judging, condemning and fighting the conflict or injustice or troublesome situation.

Pups are back

I brought the pups back today evening. They are running around and eating voraciously. The doc put a bandage on them, so that will have to be redone in a couple of days. The stitches are to be taken off on the 11th or so.

The Mother can be brought back tomorrow or day-after. Thank you Father for seeing this through. Now to get back into self-enquiry, its been a bit shaky for the last couple of days. I find reading Practicing the Power of Now helps me the most, or listening to the audio of PON.

Mother has been spayed too

Just visited the hospital. The mother was recovering. Was a bit dazed and did not respond much. The pups were perkier and when i came out, they were creating a racket inside. They will be released tomorrow evening.

Raja is alone, He was not very hungry when i took milk and bread last night. Either lonely or else he has eaten whatever has come alone so is full. Their ears have not been notched since they don't have a notching machine. The Doc said that if they cut the ear (like the MCD does) there is a lot of bleeding.

Mother admitted too

Today I took the mother for spaying. The pups were there in the kennel, looking dopey. They are under medication so a little disoriented. They walked around a bit. The mother had a sniff at them, she was very nervous going there, since this was her first drive. Had her in the back seat with S, and i picked her up and took her in all the way.

Will check up on them in the evening. They were given milk yesterday and will be given dog food today. Thank you, Father and Mother for getting this done finally. I will have to bring them back for getting their stitched removed in some time.

Pups admitted for spaying (Apr 3rd, 2012)

I've been nervous since yesterday. Took the pups to MaxVet for their neutering. My babies are right now there in the kennel. As I getting them to the car they picked up some pieces of rusk on the road-side and ate them. Supposed to be on an empty stomach. Anyway, the operation is scheduled for 1pm or so, so there'll be enough time for them to be on empty.

Tomorrow I take the mother. Beloved Mother and Father, look after them. I miss them so.

Pups totally free

Since April 1st, the pups have been free at night too, that is last night was their first free night. Today, i dropped in at Max to discuss their spaying. Tomorrow has been fixed, I'll take the pups first. Then the next day I take the mother.

Please bless them, Mother Earth and Father. They are Yours and mine, too.

I need to focus completely on remaining in self-awareness at all times. Please give me grace so I may be free of mind- and body-identification.