No desires left

I have no desires left. All desires, longings, cravings are gone, thanks to the grace of Arunachala-Ramana.
Yet there is suffering, there is a feeling that something is to be done, to be achieved. I think this is because of the feeling that i am still in bondage and i need to be liberated.

And for some reason i feel that until i am liberated, i am a 'no one', and in such a situation one should feel unhappy.

What i mean is that we have been conditioned into believing that we should be happy in some situations, and unhappy in some others. For example, if we are famous or are 'someone' we should be happy, if we are not famous we should be unhappy. Similarly if i defeat someone i should exult, etc. Our entire concept of happiness and unhappiness has been
conditioned and we live that conditioning.

This need to be someone in order to be happy is causing me pain. I recognize that it is upto me alone when i should feel happiness and when i should suffer, which means i can feel happy at all times if i break free of this social conditioning.

Today when i examine myself, I am at a complete loss as to why i am still not happy. The only answer is the illusion of bondage. I call it an illusion because i cannot for the life of me figure out what i am bound to, and who is bound. For all practical purposes, i am free and unbound.

On a more conscious level, when i think things through, my only wish is to love Ramana life after life, to always be devoted. But that i already am, and there is no reason why it would ever be snatched away from me. Yet, i am not happy. At a deeper level, i feel that it is not an achievement, thus the ego still feels a need to prove itself to others by attaining something.

There is one voice saying "i don't want realization", another suffering for lack of it. i understand that realization is not going to change things from the achievement aspect. There will be no one to show off, and no proof anyway. I will then probably suffer for not being able to prove myself, so in that sense the achievement is not going to come. I will most likely to be quiet about it and shun all attention. So both ways the ego will lose. There can be no victory of the ego now.

Can realization really be better than being devoted to You?
I doubt - i believe this devotion is the greatest blessing.