Have the last 2 pups returned ?

Those two dear little adorable little ones ... how they bark at me, nibble my feet and come running to me, chase me around ... I really wonder ... could it be the last two who died of distemper and parvo-virus respectively. The color, and the eyes. The eyes look so familiar, or am i just wanting this to be true. One was white with spots and one was completely brown all over. Exactly like these two. The only difference is that those 2 were female and these two are males.

I love them so much, my only worry is that they try to follow me back and that brings them onto the road. So i have to shake them off. I was thinking how blessed I am, so fortunate to be given this love by You, O Lord, O creator. You gifted me with a love that is so beautiful. A love with which I can love so many, I do not have to restrict myself. Wherever I go, there will be many children of yours whom I can love. I only ask that I be able to serve all your children completely, and well. Let there be no holding back. I feel so guilty and awful when I eat, knowing how many are children of Yours are going hungry.

They followed me around

Today, morning I saved a little milk from Raja and Mother's share and went to the park. Had to wake up the 2 little pups, they had it happily and then sat up in the tea stall. Their mother just watched quietly, did not wish to come and have some. But the other black and white mother came over from the shack and was looking hungrily at me. I felt terrible, that i had nothing for her. I promised i would get some biscuits later, but felt awful going away leaving her hungry.

Later, i did go with some biscuits and fed her.  The tea stall was empty today. I gave one biscuit to the 2 pups who were running amok in the park. They gave a few tiny barks, can hardly believe that they could manage a bark! I lifted them up both and put them to my cheeks. What joy. The brown one nibbled my ear a bit. The white one just looked about. Then they followed me all around the park (one complete round of the left section) for the first time. Finally, i shook them off. And they wrestled in the center.

How it aches to think of them all hungry there, and me eating properly. I just cannot enjoy anything, always think of them. Then as i went around to the other side of the park, I met the other larger pup, the B/W one who came up to me readily and played with me. His shy brother later met me, but as always was afraid, and refused to come close.

So now in the late mornings I do go to the foresty park for a brief walk. It helps me clear my head, and get into the present/I am. Although, of course I do keep having dog thoughts.

The other pups and a new litter

I have started giving a little something to the other pups too. The two pups (one brown and one white) come and bite my fingers, and bark at me. There are two mothers there now, competing. The black and white one is the daughter of the other one (brown). She gave birth to 4 pups a few days back. The new pups are now in the little shack, the two larger ones run around. Such a delight and joy to be with the little ones. I picked them up and put them against my cheek.
I so totally feel when i look at them that they are mine. If only these moments could be captured.
The two mothers are desperately in need of food. I feel so awful stuffing myself and thinking how even one morsel would mean so much to them. Whenever we buy something, i immediately think how many weeks of milk I could give them for that money.

I am so lucky to have this love for animals in me. It is such a blessing. It has made me feel so complete. This love is so beautiful.

Touching you

I cannot touch God, or my beloved Masters any longer.

But touching you, and your child is the greatest touch experience i can have, or have ever had. Putting my arm around you or Raja is my most cherished experience. How can i ever thank God or this universe for giving me this.
Mother, do you know how much I love you. And your dear child. How you have shaken my life. Turned me inside out.

One day this will end. Your life will be shorter than mine. A day will come when i will never be able to look into your eyes, look at your beautiful faces, or touch your faces and ears. I will pine for one more touch, one more glance, and rue the moments when i sat inside looking at your from the window. Or even this moment when i sit inside comfortably while you both sit in the sand somewhere.

I have loved before, I loved Sheru and Dolby with my heart and soul, but those were days when i was totally lost in the mind. This is the first time I have loved after the onset of the presence, and the breaking down of the controller. I therefore think this love is in a different league from any other. It is not a love where the false self keeps raising its ugly head. Yet, honestly, i am surprised that this kind of love is possible still. Such a deep personal love.

For all your simplicity, you are so close to God. For me touching you is touching God. Looking into your eyes, is looking into God's eyes.

I am the richest

I look at you both from my window. You both are sitting on the sand across the road, looking around listlessly. I wonder what you both think. And then i once again realize that i am the richest person in the world. The happiest therefore the richest. To have both of you, both of you to love, to have your love.

God sent me his most precious ones, his most beloved angels, to love me and take care of me. Nature or this universe created you both and me, us three for each other. Do you know how much i love this universe for creating you both, and giving you to me. Do you know how much i love and worship you both. Most precious of God's children! You love me and are mine forever. And i, yours. How fortunate am I. How I love you both. What could i have possibly done to deserve this, Lord. Does anyone else have this joy?

Or is it that everyone has this in some form, but they refuse to recognize it. Is everyone blind ? I certainly am not, Lord, O Mother and Father.

(ekhanubujhino playing on iTunes)