Mind tricks

Every day i wake up, I (the mind) checks to see if there are thoughts. If there are i am (it is) disappointed.

So I (the mind) want to experience realization as a phenomenon apart from myself. I want to experience my "real nature" as something else, something beautiful and divine and all-encompassing, etc.

The mind is always checking to see if it has vanished !

If it has not, there are excuses, faults, blames to be laid on others, others who have to pay the price for "my" realization or peace, mountains to climb, penances to do....

And it is my mind doing and thinking all this. What a confusing, losing situation...

The mind has created such a stink, it is unlivable.