2008-01-09 19:11
Beloved Self,
Help me out of this fog called the mind.
Help me back into clarity, into silence.
The mind is like a quagmire, a quicksand
I keep falling in.
I know not You, O Self,
but even this momentary silence
is sweet
sweeter than anything the mind has ever given,
because in this silence
I feel an aroma of You
no matter how faint.
I have read the scriptures, I understand the words of the great sages. I am not the I, I am not the one in bondage, it is the mind in bondage, and I am not the mind.
The mind only exists when we fall into it, (Edit: or rather when imagined to exist). Otherwise, it does not exist. Even I don't exist, unless I fall into the mind.
But regardless of the above, I am still lost, in bondage, assaulted by illusion, allowed to breathe your faint scent, like a chained and blindfolded prisoner given a few moments to walk in the sun, with the constant threat of being pulled back into the dark dungeon I have lived in all along.
Self, this letter is to You. I feel You will hear this clearer than if i just think it.
I have no attachments left, I have nothing to hold onto, just some trifling distractions which mean nothing to me. Snatch me, O Self, make me Yours forever.
How long will you wait.
O Self, I am your child, waiting for you. Ever since I saw your face, and you did some magic to my mind. In that one moment, you did something, that won me over, that made me know that I belonged to You and You to me.
After entrancing me, how can you allow maya to cling on, and veil You from me.
Come, like a knight in shining armor and free me. Let the world know how the Self treats its children. Never will maya ever again cast a glance on those who call You "Father".
I want You, O Father to deal the final, fatal blow.
Sinful was I to emerge from You, to leave You. But I have finally come to my senses, I have repented, I wish to return to You, O Self.
Let not the mind wither away slowly, on its own, smite it with your glance, torch it, so it never troubles your children ever again!
