You are right here, in awareness, holding my hand

I now spend time sitting in awareness. Could have some recording on (about awareness, or enquiry) or some soft music on. Often i just look at my feet or legs as i sit on a chair, with back straight, not resting back.

I also walk quite a bit in the park, keeping in awareness. Awareness is normal, its me. So its not a sadhana any longer. its not effort. its just being me.

I do focus back, and see who is in this awareness, or who is behind all
this, who is moving in and out of awareness. who is moving from awareness to thought and then back to awareness. who just asked this question.

How much love this universe or Self or our Master must have for us, that
it gives us this gift of awareness.


2010-03-25 14:46

Whenever i am awareness, whenever i am present, I know You are here,
holding my hand. I no longer have to keep calling out to You to help, and wondering if you are really carrying me along.

Awareness is proof that You are here and with me.

Till three days or so ago, I used to beg you for physical death, for an end, i stopped believing that there was anything other than body identification. I thought it was all a hoax. Now i am so light, no worries, no concerns, now i look at You and laugh, look at you in a different way. Oh, how silly of me to doubt you. How mischievous you are, Father.



2010-03-25 18:24

I was so afraid as to how i would live the next 40 or so years. So
utterly terrified. Now that awareness is setting in, and recognized as
I, the fear is gone. I am fine.

Spent a few hours walking in the park, aware. Thoughts do come and go,
but I am not concerned or disturbed. The identification with thought is
weakening, more of a habit i guess. Awareness comes back always, no
reminders necessary, No "oh my God, i forgot to be aware for so long".
It just comes right back.

Thank you so much O Father, for listening. The relief is great. I don't
know how the error happened, but thankfully it's a thing of the past.