And the poem, "Mother", made Him feel even more like He was pressing into the headphones wanting to hear also.
And even when i read aloud His works, stealing glances at Him after every line or verse, it's like Him laughing approvingly and enjoying our attempts at making these "podcasts".
I don't even remember what it was like 3 years back, before seeing Him. Was I even alive, worth calling alive? So lost must have been that person, so utterly lonely and lost.
Imagine living in a universe, and not knowing that universe.
That is how it IS, for most of humanity.
And that is how it was for us - a darkness; a pit that seemed "okay", since everyone else was also in it.
You yourself have said to Sri Arunachala:
"What did it profit Thee to choose out me from all those struggling in samsara, to rescue my helpless self from being lost and hold me at Thy Feet?" - Eleven Verses, verse 4.
"Thou art the primal being, whereas I count not in this nor the other world. What did You gain then by my worthless self, O Arunachala?" - Marital Garland, verse 93.
But Beloved, these darts of love that you have been firing at me since You first shone upon me, -- is this all you have? They say you destroy the ego, but my ego still survives. I mock not you, O Beloved, your darts are intoxicating and joyous, but not deadly yet!
I seem ungrateful, Beloved Lord, and maybe I am. After all You have given me, and I know that most have not been a fraction as fortunate, I still long for death at Your feet.
From the moment I looked into the two oceans of compassion, that they call Your eyes, I wanted not joy or bliss, but to die at the Feet of my joyous Ramana.
"Thou didst take aim with darts of love and then devoured me alive, O Beloved Arunachala!"How can one speak of your glories, Most beloved Ramana? How can one describe thy greatness?
"Bearing and tending me in the world in the shape of my mother and father, Thou didst abide in my mind, and before I fell into the deep sea called jaganmaya and was drowned, Thou didst draw me to Thee, Arunachala, conciousness itself.
Such is the wonder of Thy grace!"
Consume me, your prey, O Lord, and let me have peace.
