All pleasure and pain is of the false self, not mine

2007-12-30 14:31

(Just dumping some thoughts)

Getting rid of all desires can be a long cumbersome process. Get rid of one and another can take its place. For, doing this requires attaching and being the false self.

Far better to understand that the personality that has all the desires, and aspirations, is not me, and to give up that mind/false-self altogether.

All the desires will weaken and go off by themselves in their own time. Even if some remain -- who cares -- you no longer are treating them like your own desires. You are no longer running to satisfy them or pandering to them, knowing that they belong to some "other" entity.

Far better to stop being what you are not, than to believe you are that personality and struggle to change it, hoping that by changing it sufficiently it will crack and the real nature will remain.

That too may work, but far better to have trust in the guru's words and give up attachment to the personality as a whole -- the relief is immense.

Even as the personality is crumbling there is the seduction of the little bits of maya that remain ... one's hobbies and aspirations, for example.

One has to have faith in the guru's words at this point. It is not that one's entire life will come to a stand-still but just the expectation of results from what the body/personality does. And the resultant strife and worry and concern.

This will leave time and allow us to focus on what WE need -- liberation, rather than focus on the needs and life of a fictitious personaltiy that is playing its story "here" and fooling us, or we beign fooled by it into thinking it is us.

Even at this stage, we may still link to certain parts of the body's life and consider it to be our own, and obsess over it.

It is important to remember that all that the mind wants is its own desire and life, that it plays to consume us, and ensure that we do not achieve liberation from it.
It is the mind that derives pleasure and gratification and success, NOT us. We have nothing to do with that whole story.

It is fine to stay healthy, in fact important to do so, but anything more than that, we should understand is NOT US, it is the mind and its life we are being made to lead. It is also important to continue to take care of one's responsibilities towards one's dependents, with as much detachment as possible.

One should neither obsess about being the personality, nor obsess about not being the personality.

I write this not to help others, or preach, but to help articulate what is going on inside for *my own* benefit.
So i may not obsruct what is happening.

For me, liberation is the most important, there is nothing else. Once the false self is gone, there will be no one to think about how interesting or boring "my" life is. Such thoughts of "after liberation" are only worries of the false self.
It is only the false self that derives joy from its own needs, not I. I must bear this in mind in the days and weeks to come.

As Annamalai Swami once said: whenever thoughts come, just remember, not mine, none of my business.