Little ones fighting !

Raja has grown. When I feed him and Mother (out of one bowl, bread and milk), at the end when they are licking off the final crumbs they now get into a scuffle. And its a very nasty brawl. Very difficult for me to break up Mother and Son. Whichever one i hold onto, the other one attacks.

I might just have to cut out the milk and go back to dog biscuits or some dry alternative that does not require a bowl. My dear ones, is this what I taught you? I taught you love. You both are sadhus, not ordinary people living for personal pleasure. My little angels, angels sent down here by God to love and teach love.

Through all the tumult, the house related fighting, the tennis slams and Masters, I try hard, Lord, to come back to awareness and silence. I fear i may waste this life, too.
My only desire and longing is to serve You, and Your children, all your beloved creatures. I want nothing for myself. I long to serve You, Father. I am so lethargic, and just not bright enough to know what to do. I am lost. If I tried to do anything of my own accord, my silly ego would mess it up. I would serve selfishly, I would select selfishly based on my conditioning.

Take this sense of "I" away and use this body and consciousness to serve others. It is a hindrance to You and even me.