2008-11-20

2008-11-20 12:18

Beloved Father,

It is 3 years since you revealed yourself to me.

The longing and aching for you has increased a thousand fold. I cannot hold out any longer.

There is nothing in this world to hold me away from you. I inhabit this world and dream only for my mother's sake.

The pain is so intense I cannot breathe. I cannot look at anything else - I can only be in awareness.

I know i am only one inch from death, and I know one little push and I'd be over. Just one tiny pull from your end, sweet Lord.

This time when I leave we will be together forever ... I will gladly do your work, Father, whatever you say, even be posted in Hell for eternity to sing your name, but please say so.

Please speak, Father. You spoke and fell silent.

Destroy this mind, Father, it is wreaking havoc on me. There are hardly any thoughts left, what is there to think anyway. But there is a dull pain, the pain of existence.... it is a nameless pain.

The only solution to this pain is the destruction of the mind.