Where are you?

Precariously, i hold onto the self. There is nothing else.
And yet, nothing compares to Your love, Your grace. Whenever I call out, You respond immediately. But when will you emerge from hiding?

The mind ravages me with arguments, if I remember to call out to You, you immediately silence it. Sometimes I struggle to silence it myself.

I am in fear, fear of what is ahead, fear of the truth. So much has broken, so much has fallen off, its like hanging by a thread. I am afraid of what I may fall into ... there are things I fear more than death -- far more than death.

Yes, this is all in the mind, another mind trick, one must continue to hold onto the Self. Whatever, this is far better than living entirely in the mind, following invented feel-good sadhanas created by the false-self.

Whatever happens, I will always be happy that you exist, and are right here.