These hands and this heart

Just come back from feeding Raja and Mother. Finally, these two hands have done something worthwhile. If ever i have done anything meaningful with these hands, it is feeding them, looking after them, tending to my beloved Raja when he was injured and sick.

If ever my heart has done anything meaningful it was loving them. And feeling the pain of animals. I can never forget those moments when i found Raja all bandaged up two days after his accident. I had given you up for dead, dear one. Your small bandaged face lifted and looked up at me. Your little tail wagged a bit in recognition. I gave you some biscuits, you chomped them down hungrily. And all those moments when you sat in my lap at the hospital, I wondering what you were thinking as you looked around, I feeling complete, as though all my missing parts had finally been put together. All those days, I held you against my chest, pressing you slightly, hoping you would somehow melt into me and become a part of me.

Somehow, you and your mother have connected me to Nature, to Mother Nature. It was already happening for the past 2 years, but you pushed it through, accelerated it. You taught me the biggest lesson of my life, but its a lesson i don't know how to put into words, its a lesson at the level of being, of what is alive, the level of me.