Another recap

What a joke! No one reads this blog (exercise in vanity) and yet, i add a recap every few months for the convenience of the reader (my vain self).

I "sum things up" ... har de har!

Anyway, things have been really good. Visited Tiruvannamalai in January. Many months ago it seems there were reports of great pain and separation on this blog. Beloved Ramana's sweet and infinite love dissolved it, blew it away like it had never happened.

The decades spent in this world prior to seeing Bhagavan's photo for the first time, are now someone else's life. This life is now a continuation of the blessed life i once spent at Bhagavan's Feet. There has for a long time been only the intense joy of being smothered by Beloved Ramana, by what i keep calling His Infinite Love, His smothersome Love.

All attachments to the body and exterior world have gone by Arunachala's grace. Yes, the mind still thinks of this and that, but now there is no worry about that, no concern becos I now know that its only a matter of a little time when Bhagavan cuts away all thoughts with His sword of Love. The mind is living its last days, its end is gauranteed.

This story has been totally wierd. Of a person with absolutely no spiritual or religious inclinations, a complete atheist, one day coming across the photograph of Sri Ramana Maharshi and being completely destroyed by the look in Bhagavan's eyes. Of experiencing a tremendous flood of love coming from Bhagavan. Of being destroyed in love. Of losing oneself so completely and still being left alive to report it.

Even though not realized, i have known for some time that Suffering is gone forever, Ramana has rooted out the ability to suffer forever. There will never again be sadness, emptiness, loneliness, mental or emotional pain in me, even if i remain as i am, unrealized.

I do know that in this life, or latest, when i leave this body, i will be totally and absolutely absorbed into Bhagavan's loving Feet. Of that there is no doubt.

I also know that the time has come to lose everything, whatever that means. This is the only time when i can really report this, no matter how egoic it may seem. The love of Bhagavan is so intense that i cannot hold onto all this much longer. Death is imminent, of what kind doesn't really matter.

And i guess i can be totally honest, since no one comes here.

This blog might seem or have once been a mouthpiece to show off, but today i am only trying to get across to whomever might come here, that Bhagavan is still very much here, Arunachala is very much what Bhagavan promised, and the love of Bhagavan has taken one person right here, clear of suffering, into joy, even though i am by no means realized.

I may never even in this life be realized, who cares really, ... but still in so short a time Bhagavan has cleared me right out of suffering. He is the eternal Guru, He is infinite love. No intermediaries are required, no others are required. He is here.

When i started this blog off i was someone who wanted to say something but had nothing to say. I wanted to share grandiose experiences but had none. Even today, thankfully, i have nothing to show, no samadhis, no spiritual visions, no experiences of being blissed out... none of all that.

 I have thankfully only one thing to say, and that is that my Master is all there is, and all there needs to be, and the joy of His love I have experienced, and no other experience is necessary. He has taken all away from me, and i am deeply grateful to Him for that -- all sorrow, all pain, all attachments.

Today with the aksharamanamalai (Marital Garland of Letters), He is totally destroying what is left. Do you want that?

(I seem to on quite a roll ... haha.)

When Bhagavan has completely merged me into His most loving Feet, which could be this moment, or never, i suspect there will be no trace of me. And no mention of what happened. There need not be, for Bhagavan is there for all of you.

May His sweet love liberate you, too.

--
It is not you who see the world. It is the illusion of the apparent 'I' seeing the illusion of the world. What does it matter to you?