You must guide me, Lord

Father
I need your help. Don't leave things to my judgment. Or one more life will go by, and I would not have served you properly, and I would still be separated from you.

I need to be united. I cannot bear separation. I cannot bear being an entity, a person. I cannot bear identification with a person, a body, memories and a future. Having to live another 40 years or so in a body as someone frightens me.

The pups are becoming hard for us to contain in that space. They fight to get out. But it is still too risky having them on the road, they dart across suddenly, often just as a car is going by. Maybe in a week we will have to release them. How many will survive the cars ?

I know you have the best in mind for all. But I really fear losing them. I love them deeply. I want them to grow up by my side. I want to hold them, and love them and talk to them. You know how i love them. Does my love reach you through them. Surely it does.